


The Mr. Thingy Show, or Something Like It

by SaraJaye



Series: The Tellius AU-Verse [12]
Category: Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Jokes, Drunkenness, F/F, F/M, M/M, Movie Night, Pop Culture, so bad it's good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-29 21:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In retrospect, Ike probably shouldn't have shown them that clip from "The Room".</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mr. Thingy Show, or Something Like It

"Oh my _goddesses_ is he _serious?!_ What _is_ this crap?!"

Usually, bad movie nights happened when people got drunk and watched bad movies on purpose. This particular bad movie night, however, happened _because_ they were drunk.

"I knooooow!" Ike snorted, swaying a little, grabbing Mia's shoulder to steady himself. "It's all-this music-and the guy does the-and she's all-and everyone's like-"

"The animation is abysmal at best, the sound mixing is atrocious, and to say the plot makes no sense is a compliment as it implies the film has a plot to begin with," Soren said. Even with two glasses of wine under his belt and an obvious sense of lightheadedness, Soren was still the resident nitpicker. Only he was more fun like this because he talked faster and sometimes even _laughed._ "Perhaps the director was intoxicted himself while he was directing this. Or the writers partook of canabis or hashish! Or-"

"Shut _uuuuup!_ The princes is talkiiiiiing!" Heather slurred. "Man, aint she hot? I'd do her!"

"Heatherrrr!" Nephenee pouted. "Y'all know how ah feel 'bout that, you...you..."

"Didn't say you weren't invited, kittentits!" For some reason, that made Soren grin.

"Kittentits. I'll have to remember that one."

"Hahahaha! It's funny cause I'm a cat and I'm a dude," Ranulf said. "Cause dudes don't have tits! And kittens don't either, cause they're all little!"

"Betcha touch Lyre's kittentits all the time," Boyd snickered. "Crazy person." Ranulf bopped him on the head with a pillow.

"Shuddup, buttface."

It had all started when Ike found a clip from "The Room" on YouTube. At first they thought it was just some kids acting out a skit in a dorm room with really good special effects and shrugged it off, Ike was always looking at stupid videos anyway. The next day, though, Mia found out it was a real movie. One thing led to another and now here they were, at Mia, Astrid and Marcia's apartment with a case of booze and a collection of movies Astrid's older brother had pawned off on her after cleaning his garage. Including "The Room".

They'd intended to stop after "The Room". Really, they had. But then the bright cover of "Felix the Cat" had caught Marcia's attention and of course they had to watch that one, too.

"Y'know what's-y'know what's funny? On Melmac, Felix is _food!_ " Marcia blurted out. "C-cause he's a cat, geddit? They eat cats, like on ALF? Man, whatever happened to that guy? Y'never see 'im in movies anymore and stuff."

"That's cause he's a _puppet,_ " Ike said. "J-just like...um...that show, with the thing?"

"The Mr. Thingy Show?" Mia offered, and everyone burst out laughing. Even Soren.

"Hehehehe, you said thingy." Zihark swung his arm back...and accidentally knocked over a glass of beer, which spilled down the front of Ilyana's shirt. "Awwww man! Sorry 'bout that, booby-I mean, baby!"

"Heeey, speakin' of thingies-" Heather's hand darted out to grab some boob, but Zihark smacked it away.

"Them's _my_ thingies! Mine! Y-y'keep yer hands on yer own thingies! I mean...Nephenee's own thingies!"

"Shuddup and watch the idiots do stupid things," Ilyana muttered, stuffing a handful of popcorn into her mouth. "Omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom..."

"Y'don't actually _say it!_ " Mia shrieked. "Yer not a hamster, woman!"

"I think..." Astrid paused for a long sip of beer. "I think that the hair forest is like. The top of the director's head. And all this is taking place in his _mind._ " Astrid was an odd case; whereas most people acted crazy while drunk she came off as more like a stoner. Or maybe she was only pretending to be one due to the influence of the alcohol. "Cause he's _stoned,_ get it?" Ranulf snickered.

"Oh yeah! Cause like, Soren said he was on a bunch of crap when he made this movie and then it like, came to life-" he hiccuped. "Um, came to life, then his brain like farted out all the cartoons!"

"This entire film does resemble an overly long Family Guy cutaway," Soren said. "In fact, wouldn't it be just hilarious if they inserted this into an episode? It would generate even more wank than Conway Twitty!" Ike snickered and patted Soren on the head.

"Yer cute when you're drunk. Y'sound all professorlike!"

"Yeah, well..." Soren blushed. "Kittentits."

"Waitaminute, i-is this the one with like. The troll who eats flowers and pees rainbows? Cause I forgot." Ranulf took a sip of beer. "Or is it the one with Tim Curry being all like. Toxic?"

"Let's wait and see! I-I think the troll pees toxic rainbows after Tim Curry eats him!" Boyd said. "Y-y'know what we _should_ be doing, is playin' a drinking game. Cause like, every time some stuff happens everyone drinks!"

"Yeah! Every time kittens have tits, drink a beer! Or when the Mr. Thingy Show comes on!" Mia giggled.

"Naaaah, let's just watch stupid crap happen," Ranulf said.

"Yer right. Cause drinkin' games are for sober people," Boyd said. "Go home, movie, yer drunk!"

"S'too bad Pelleas and Micaiah aint here," Ike muttered. "Drunk Micaiah's funner than sober Micaiah." Soren frowned. Last time Pelleas had any alcohol his judgment had been impaired so badly he'd nearly been robbed blind. It was definitely a good thing that he and Micaiah were having their Big Bang Theory night with Micaiah's friends.

"Just watch the stupid cat, Ike."


End file.
